Lindsey Hickman
Ashford University
COM 325 Communication & Conflict
Instructor: Beth Riley
May 17, 2014
Conflict is inevitable, especially in the workplace. A recent study on workplace conflict found that U.S. employees spend 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict, amounting to approximately $359 billion in paid hours, and the equivalent of 385 million working days per year (Lawler, 2010). Learning to recognize, avoid, manage and quickly resolve conflict is imperative for a strong, cohesive work environment. Throughout this course students were asked to evaluate personal situations in order to develop a strong conflict management skills to implement into our careers. This essay will explain what conflict is and how it occurs, presenting pros and cons of conflict, the role of personality types in conflict management, how climate affects conflict situation, and the importance of forgiveness.
Conflict by definition is a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one; incompatible or at variance; clash (dictionary.com, 2014). However, contrary to how many people perceive it, conflict does not necessarily involve fighting. Conflict exists in situations where facts, desires or fears pull or push participants against each other or in divergent directions. Conflict resolution is the process of trying to find a solution to a conflict. Conflict occurs when communication processes break down, and when a party perceives that, as a consequence of a disagreement, there is a threat to their needs, interests or concerns. Ideally, conflict resolution is collaborative problem-solving, a cooperative talking-together process that leads to choosing a plan of action that both parties can feel good about (Heilitier, 2012). Conflict can also occur when there are limited resources, pressures, cultural differences, and competing goals. Reactions within conflict are a result of feeling a threat to ones self-worth, so it is important to listen and validate one another’s actions in order to keep conflict from becoming negative (Scudder, 2012). In order to navigate through conflicts well, it is important to anticipate them, make effort to prevent it, identify when conflict is happening, listening to why there is conflict and work together toward a solution.
Pros and Cons of Conflict
Conflict is a normal part of life, and provides numerous opportunities for growth through improved understanding and insight; however there is a tendency to view conflict as a negative experience caused by abnormally difficult circumstances. Disputants tend to perceive limited options and finite resources available in seeking solutions, rather than multiple possibilities that may exist 'outside the box' in which we are problem-solving (UWM, 2014).
Conflict can be a positive, productive force. By having a conflict and resolving it well by talking it out, people can create a stronger bonds by getting through it- making the conflict a positive experience (Scudder, 2012). By approaching workplace conflict as an opportunity to improve operations, conflict can stimulate both management and staff to increase their knowledge and skill levels, and can be a motivator for higher innovation, creativity and performance that contribute more to the organization (Kelly, 2014). Conflict resolution can also distinguish leaders within the group. If a person is able to navigate a conflict productively, they might stand apart from followers in the organization and be rewarded with more managerial duties.
Of course, there are some cons to conflict. When conflict arises and is not communicated appropriately, the situation can escalate to larger problems, that impede on productivity, and co-worker resentment can build-up. Conflict is a distraction; focus on an organizational goal can be set aside, in order for the conflict to be addressed.
An example of a personal experience when conflict lead to a stronger team with better policies would be when I was first hired as an editor, I was added to a team who had been working together for more than a year. Each weekend, one person was in charge of breaking news for all 20 of the sites; two months in it was my turn. Because there were varied expectations for the weekend editor, I did what I thought I was supposed to do, checking morning, afternoon and evening within designated sites to make sure nothing was missed. I felt I had done a good job. Monday, during on conference call, one of the site editors explained that there had been a fatal accident just outside of her town that coverage was missed on. I became defensive because I felt my self-worth felt under the crosshairs, but from the heart of the discussion came a very useful bit of information. The other editor was simply frustrated with the system we had in place, not that I had missed it. Because all of the editors on the team were burnt out and felt pushed to the limits, emotions were all involved. After a rather loud, passionate discussion, it came to light that I had never been given access to an essential associated press police and fire channel, so there was no way for me to have known about the accident. The conflict could have been avoided had information been organized better, however, after the conflict, the issue was resolved, we set a new best practices policy so this wouldn’t happen again, and we were all better for the communication.
Personality Affects Conflict
Personalities play a big role in conflict management. How people react in conflict situations can affect the outcome of the conflict. Research suggested that extraversion is positively related to confrontational conflict styles and negatively to non-confrontational styles, while agreeableness is positively related to non-confrontational styles but negatively to confrontational styles. Neuroticism is found to negatively influence compromising style. While, competing, collaborating, and avoiding are three styles that predict bargaining behaviors and further to negotiation outcomes (Za, 2014). Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann identified five main styles of dealing with conflict that vary in their degrees of cooperativeness and assertiveness, arguing that people typically have one of five preferred conflict resolution style: competitive, accommodating, avoiding, collaborative, or compromising.
Value systems are an important factor influencing how people react to and deal with issues with other people. The importance one person places on a particular desired outcome may
be very different to the value another person places on the same issue. And learned habits can govern the way different parities respond when faced with conflict. Some personalities deal with conflict in an open and comfortable manner and others avoid it. Studies show that people with a passive aggressive personality tend to actively avoid conflict and feel uncomfortable confronting others in a conflictual context.
I believe that knowing yourself is important in conflict prevention. My largest communication pitfall is closely related to one of my strongest personality and work ethic traits: passion. I have a tendency to be defensive first because I put myself into my work whole-heartedly. So if my work is criticized I feel as though I am being criticized. The older I get, the more experience I get, and the more I learn and analyze communication and sociology, the more alert I become to cues that help me curb this knee-jerk behavior. By keeping open dialog in the workplace we can evolve and grow because we learn from the view point of others- much like reading the answers to classmates discussion questions. Making sure everyone has the same information is important also. According to the Enneagram Test RHETI Samplers, I am an Enthusiast, scoring seven points in the Type Seven personality, closely followed with six points in each the Achiever and Investigator types. I laughed out loud as I read the description of the Enthusiast, and had to read it to my husband because it was like reading my diary. This was the most accurate statement that I am current working through myself, "Because they are able to pick up many different skills with relative ease, it becomes more difficult for them to decide what to do with themselves."
Sevens tend to be indecisive in pursuit of the "right" choice, and are "frequently endowed with quick, agile minds, and can be exceptionally fast learners." Because their minds tend to constantly be on the go, explaining their feelings and thoughts are a challenge, creating issues with communication. From personal experience, I can say that I have had a tremendous challenge deciding what I want to do with my life. I constantly struggle with wanting to be a stay at home mom who gardens and restores recycled furniture, or working on a high stress career in media or law. My husband has always been incredibly supportive with whatever I want, however, I know that I focus so narrowly on my goals, maintaining a relationship would take a back burner.
Because my personality type tends to become anxious, frustrated, and even enraged, negotiating to resolve conflict can be a challenge when emotions are involved. The key to communicating with a type seven is to be very direct and diplomatic.
Climate of Conflict
The conflict climate is the psychological atmosphere the individuals perceive. This climate can be harmful or nurturing. Workplace climate is delineated by workplace relationships and environment, and whether they are viewed as positive or negative. When two people perceive their levels of power to be different, they are likely to mistrust communication that takes place between them (Gordon, 2007). When people who perceive themselves as having less power than the other person in the conflict, they tend to receive communication from that person as being manipulative or condescending. Those who see themselves as being more powerful often receive messages from those less powerful as being devious. These perceptions can make effective conflict resolution all but impossible (Gordon, 2007).
While working at my former editorial job, we ‘local editors’ often felt as though we were unvalued parts of the multi-media corporation. Memos were sent out daily from headquarters, with different strategies to be implemented almost weekly. When our regional editor would explain the rollouts to us, we were often flustered by what absolutely felt like condescending micromanaging. As a result, the local editors began meeting up to work together and vent frustrations. When the regional editor found out we had stopped inviting her to meet-ups, she was saddened and felt like we had shut her out. Most of this was due to miscommunication from the top down. She was just the messenger, but we felt taken advantage of and over worked. As a result, our cooperation seemed devious to her. The conflict climate was one of stress and confusion. From the lesser power perspective, had we been open about our frustrations to our manager, invited her to our meetings to hear us out, rather than clamming up and nose-down-working, she would not have felt like we were going behind her back.
Forgiveness
Reconciliation is an interchangeable term for conflict resolution, and should always be followed by forgiveness. If hostility remains after a conflict has been addressed, resolution has not been fully achieved; therefore, further communication is needed. Sometimes resolution and forgiveness are easy to achieve when the conflicting parties are both reasonable and willing, and both parties feel heard and validated. When this does not happen, forgiveness is something you must achieve individually by letting go of bitterness. Anger and hurt caused by unresolved conflict can By letting go of grudges, you can be free of the hurt you were causes in the conflict, and not allow it to define your life.
Forgiveness is often for the forgiver’s inner peace. I often remind my husband of the proverb, “Not my monkeys, not my circus.” To me, this means what happens with others in their own lives, has made them who they are, and there is nothing you can do to change or fix them. In accepting that, you can rationalize their behaviors, accept their flaws, and let go of the emotions that harbor anger and resentment. By refusing to forgive someone for a conflict, you carry emotion baggage that will continue to fester and can even lead to adverse health conditions. Mayo Clinic studies show that letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to: Healthier relationships; greater spiritual and psychological well-being; less anxiety stress and hostility; lower blood pressure; fewer symptoms of depression; and lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse.
Conflict is an energetic process between two individuals can arise from conflicting values, perceptions, goals and attitudes, with the potential to lead better overall group cohesion or threaten to create a great divide with an organization. By recognizing conflict triggers, attempting to prevent conflicts, being able to identify when conflict is happening, and listening to why there is conflict, parties can develop a resolution that satisfies all involved. Personality types and conflict climate play a large role in how conflict is managed within an organization; better understanding these can have a positive effect on how a leader handles interpersonal conflict in the workplace.
Reference
Heilitier, Susan PhD. What Makes Conflict? November 14, 2012. Retrieved on April 16, 2014 from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201211/what-makes- conflict-how-are-conflicts-resolved
Gordon, Jack. Successful Conflict Management. October 26, 2007. Retrieved on May 1, 2014 from http://my.safaribooksonline.com/book/management/9780470193440/conflict- management-climate-index/climate_factors_affecting_conflict_manag
Lawler, Jennifer (2010). The real cost of workplace conflict. Retrieved from http:// www.entrepreneur.com/article/207196#
Mayo Clinic Staff. Forgiveness: Letting it go. (2014). Retrieved from http:// www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
Rakdee, Kanokwan. Conflict Management Processes. April 16, 2013. Retrieved on April 16, 2014 from http://www.slideshare.net/KanokwanRakdee/conflict-management- processes-18932056
Scudder, Tim. Have a Good Conflict. Retrieved on April 16, 2014 from https:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_E7YVkjJQ0
Za, Zhenzhong (2014). Exploring the Relationships between the Big Five Personality Factors,
Conflict Styles, and Bargaining Behaviors. Retrieved from http://www.researchgate.net/ publication/
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